my wonderland

Fuzzy B

2009-04-11T21:39:00.004+01:00

I'm having a teddy bear!

Half Marathon

2009-04-06T13:33:00.001+01:00

I am 20 weeks today!

The story of Little B

2009-02-27T13:27:00.004Z

So it seems, a body is very enthusiastic to get pregnant straight after a miscarriage. I thought it took 6 weeks to ovulate afterwards -oops. But here I am with a little bump due in August.

I had a scan and Little B waved.

Calculate a Date

2009-01-14T00:11:00.008Z

I came across a cool website. It adds or subtracts from a date, or finds the difference between 2 dates in years, months, days, hours, minutes, seconds...

I'm 261,816 hours old. I've lived through 1558 monday mornings!

http://www.timeanddate.com/date/dateadd.html

I think I need to find a job soon.

Womb

2009-01-13T23:12:00.009Z

I found out at Christmas that I have a bicornuate (heart shaped) womb.

It really is heart shaped!

I was looking at other pictures of wombs and found these, they look so peaceful

(unless someone's taking the piss on photoshop!)

You already know how this will end...

2008-12-18T22:28:00.016Z

i love the words and animation for this ad, subtle poignancy

it's a song by Devotchka http://devotchka.net/

UDI

2008-11-22T18:17:00.003Z

unidentified drinking injury

My favourite Poem

2008-11-21T12:14:00.003Z

Auntie did you feel no pain
Falling from that willow tree?
Could you do it, please again
‘Cos my friend here didn’t see

harry graham

Goodbye my Bump

2008-11-20T21:39:00.014Z

Sadly little bump didn't survive.

The Algerian and I spent 6 hours at hospital, in the acute gynaecological clinic. After a few days of pain I had guessed it would not be a positive outcome. His response the previous night to my baby news was joy. His response to my miscarriage was that I clearly had not wanted the baby enough and god had heard.

On the morning of the hospital appointment, I awoke dreading a life imagined with the man from Algeria and our bump. My wonderful ideas of raising a child had slowly turned into a life trapped in a loveless relationship. Maybe god had heard me and misinterpreted.

The man from Algeria wants to try for another baby immediately. I want to run 500 miles in the opposite direction. I think this was a wake up call - don't be naive about the repercussions of sex with an ex. Choose your life carefully. Although as Lennon (and Annabel) said - life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.

The only solution is to go out and get totally wankered ("alcohol -the solution and cause of all life's problems" homer). I now have to ring around everyone and disperse the sad news. This is why people wait for the 12 week scan!

I hope you are safe in heaven little bump.

Bump

2008-11-18T13:54:00.019Z

Following 8 pregnancy tests last Sunday, I'm pregnant. I'm still quite dubious though and have to resist urge to bulk buy more tests.
I had unprotected sex with my algerian idiot, clearly a mistake, and took the morning after pill 72 hours later. 55% effective. Stupid pill, stupid girl.
The doctor calculates I am 5 weeks and 2 days pregnant.
I am now an expert at googling pregnancy.
Spent long weekend in Wales discussing options with parents, who have been extremely supportive. Albeit being 29 not 15, I was still nervous. Dad drank a lot of wine, mum ate a lot of chocolate... and we all discussed the ins and outs of how I conduct myself carnally. And of course if I would consider marriage to the father. Er no.
I was excitedly encouraged to ring round all the relatives, even at this early stage - Mum said, they can congratulate and commiserate later if you have a miscarriage...super... 'Hi Grandma, I have some news... 5 weeks pregnant... yes a surprise .... yes my french boyfriend (a slight stretch of the truth but a thumbs up from dad)... new life...".
I felt like I was ringing round dispersing bad news.
Most sounded shocked, some fained joy.
Conclusions following our weekend of discussion -
parents: get job, save money, have baby, move back to wales
me: try to get job, continue on dole, stick head in sand, stay in london

I am secretly very happy!

Have yet to tell the man from Algeria (he no longer fits 'le garçon')

Gaydar

2008-09-24T14:39:00.008+01:00

a great place to while away some addictions
http://www.gaydar.co.uk/

Old Jokes

2008-09-20T14:31:00.011+01:00

only mildly offensive...

Scouser on a Bike

Scouse Keyboard

Birthday Song

2008-09-17T19:25:00.002+01:00

Tragedy by the Bee Gees was No.1 the day I was born. I hope my Mama wasn't listening.

http://www.thisdayinmusic.com/birthdayno1

Beautiful & Talented

2008-09-15T21:37:00.038+01:00

Thought

2008-09-12T20:12:00.011+01:00

When something annoys or is stressful, the little thought in my head is "naff off and die". A bit extreme but comforting .Today I said a lot of "naff off and dies".

Declare Yourself?

2008-09-12T19:44:00.017+01:00

jessica is beautiful who cares what the ad says! it's not as if the u.s is a democracy and the votes count. http://www.loosechange911.com/blog/

Affliction

2008-09-04T12:24:00.024+01:00

Je suis de plus en un libertin

Paradise

2008-09-04T08:24:00.033+01:00

Does paradise have to be shared to be recognised? On a beautiful beach in Indonesia I realised I was by myself and wondered if it was an illusion as no one else was around to see.
Similar to 'if a tree falls in a forest when nobody is around, does it make a noise?'
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
I took a photo

Dazed and Confused

2008-08-26T13:59:00.012+01:00

My love; he's not french. He's Algerian.
He's not legal.
His sister is not called Claudia.

Elton peux aller se faire foutre.

He wants to live in a forest so that he's not found and arrested.
The romance has died.

Mon Garçon

2008-06-30T19:42:00.016+01:00

Elton, je vous salue.

I met a boy. He's french. He has beautiful eyes, beautiful lips pouty lips. He says 'erbs not herbs. He has black hair, grey hairs -secrets.
I'm learning french. The tape so far taught me 'quelle est la situation politique et economique en france'. can we communicate? All I want is a kiss.
He's complicated but that's french, he drinks wine but doesn't get pissed, he cooks like it's art, and he "make sex" (mon garçon, juin) as though i am the only girl he ever looked into the eyes of.
He wants to live in a forest, all he needs is 'woman'.
Grey skies, tears, happiness.. the world goes by.. and all I think of is the kisses to my soul and the children we'll have.

Elton

2008-05-15T10:26:00.015+01:00

"Are you ready, are you ready for love?"

"yes I am"

An ode to binge drinking

2008-05-10T12:22:00.019+01:00

A little sip
A smile to a friend
A wave to the barman
A twinkling laugh
A large glass of wine
A bottle of wine,
Two bottles of wine
A raucous moment
A bottomless glass
A swig in a taxi
A blurry eye
A shouting phase
A hurtling pavement
A sore tooth

"not as ladylike as hoped"

Hakuna Matata

2008-05-09T19:08:00.022+01:00

rough and tumble anyone?

bigpaws

yoda

"aint milk brill"

"born to be WIIIIIIIILLLLD!"

" we want to be together "

scary chicks!

an edwardian tiger

Grrrrrrrr

"to be ...or not to be"

Through the looking glass

2008-05-09T10:15:00.015+01:00

I'm writing this blog mainly to stop my thoughts getting too crowded. Self-therapy; twoddle.

Things in my life I love:

My family
My friends
My cat
Cider
Wine
Cigarettes
Summer
New York

Things in my life I don't like:

Gloomy days

My philosophies:

Be happy
Don't regret